Okay this is going to sound like way too much, but david is working all day today. Soooo these are my favorite days to clean, I have no distractions and I can do it in no particular order. So here is my list of things I want to do today, I'll let you know how far I actually get.
Laundry/Pantry Room:
*all the laundry (completed, folded, put away) including new sheets on the beds and everything
*all the shelves organized and cleaned
*floor swept/mopped
Kitchen:
*dishes done and put away
*counter tops cleaned
*stove top cleaned
*drawers cleaned out
*fridge cleaned out/organized
*floors swept/mopped
*sliding glass door washed
TV Room:
*vaccumed (couches and floors)
*dusted
*organized
Living Room:
*desk organized/cleaned
*rug and couch vaccumed
*floors swept/mopped
Bathroom:
*shower cleaned
*toilet cleaned
*mirrors cleaned
*underneath sink cleaned out and organized
*medicine cabinet regorganized
*floors swept/mopped
Our Room:
*new sheets and comforter on bed
*closet and drawers organized
*floors swept/mopped
Guest Room:
*new sheets on bed
*closet organized
*floors swept/mopped
Those are the tasks of the day. And I am off....
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I don't even know...
Well it has been probably a little too long since I wrote last. And I have had some crazy stuff going on inside this head of mine, but I can't quite remember it all so let us just see where these fingers of mine will take this post.
Right this very moment I am realizing I have this overwhelming presence of fear in my life. I don't know where it came from, but here it is. Haunting me and making me feel trapped, imprisoned by thoughts of doubt and inadequacy. It feels as though it has just hit, or maybe it has always been there but I am soooo very aware of it right now, that I can't escape it. I don't know how to fix it!
Here is the deal, I walk into a room full of people, whether 6 or 150 people I feel overwhelmed by my supposed lack of ability to communicate with these other human beings. Now this is silly. I have lived for 25 1/2 years and have been fully functional in all I have done to this point. Why now do I feel inadequate? I haven't been working or going to school for the last 4 weeks and I feel this has contributed to my hermit like state that I suddenly find myself in.
So I told David about it. He was rather shocked and started to give me advice on what to say to people. I laughed because, I know what to say to people, it is just this fear that is taking over inside of me causing me to FEEL like I don't know what to say or how to act. I want it to disappear. I love people and love meeting new people and hanging out with people. But I am afraid! So I apologize to anyone I may or may not have spoken to due to my recent situation. If I sounded silly because I was fumbling for words to say, or if I briskly walked by you in hopes to avoid an awkward conversation (on my part of course).
I am determined to conquer this fear inside me! I know there is no way I can do it on my own. This may sound out of the blue in regards to the rest of the post, but I believe God is working on my character. I am so afraid to fail in life and to not compare to the person next door, but God is using these moments to humble me and remind me that I am not "the shit!" Sorry for the vocabulary, but that is what came to mind. Not that I ever have that attitude in life, but sometimes I do feel like I have it all figured out, but HA! That is not the case.
I will fail!
I won't ever be the perfect student, wife, nurse, daughter, sister, or friend.
We are not perfect beings!
But I will try my best (I really wanted to use the word darndest...lol) to be all that God has created me to be. I will love people, I will try to encourage and seek the best out of every situation. I pray that God will help me to conquer this fear so that I can take chances and live a life more extreme and willing to step out on a limb for people, even people I don't know. At any moment my life can be over, God calls the shots. I am just blessed to know that every morning I wake up with another chance to better myself and try again to follow Jesus' example of love and life!
Right this very moment I am realizing I have this overwhelming presence of fear in my life. I don't know where it came from, but here it is. Haunting me and making me feel trapped, imprisoned by thoughts of doubt and inadequacy. It feels as though it has just hit, or maybe it has always been there but I am soooo very aware of it right now, that I can't escape it. I don't know how to fix it!
Here is the deal, I walk into a room full of people, whether 6 or 150 people I feel overwhelmed by my supposed lack of ability to communicate with these other human beings. Now this is silly. I have lived for 25 1/2 years and have been fully functional in all I have done to this point. Why now do I feel inadequate? I haven't been working or going to school for the last 4 weeks and I feel this has contributed to my hermit like state that I suddenly find myself in.
So I told David about it. He was rather shocked and started to give me advice on what to say to people. I laughed because, I know what to say to people, it is just this fear that is taking over inside of me causing me to FEEL like I don't know what to say or how to act. I want it to disappear. I love people and love meeting new people and hanging out with people. But I am afraid! So I apologize to anyone I may or may not have spoken to due to my recent situation. If I sounded silly because I was fumbling for words to say, or if I briskly walked by you in hopes to avoid an awkward conversation (on my part of course).
I am determined to conquer this fear inside me! I know there is no way I can do it on my own. This may sound out of the blue in regards to the rest of the post, but I believe God is working on my character. I am so afraid to fail in life and to not compare to the person next door, but God is using these moments to humble me and remind me that I am not "the shit!" Sorry for the vocabulary, but that is what came to mind. Not that I ever have that attitude in life, but sometimes I do feel like I have it all figured out, but HA! That is not the case.
I will fail!
I won't ever be the perfect student, wife, nurse, daughter, sister, or friend.
We are not perfect beings!
But I will try my best (I really wanted to use the word darndest...lol) to be all that God has created me to be. I will love people, I will try to encourage and seek the best out of every situation. I pray that God will help me to conquer this fear so that I can take chances and live a life more extreme and willing to step out on a limb for people, even people I don't know. At any moment my life can be over, God calls the shots. I am just blessed to know that every morning I wake up with another chance to better myself and try again to follow Jesus' example of love and life!
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